Autism Essentials Blog » emotional development

Part 1 – Why ‘Play’ is SO Important for Children with Autism

Monique Simpson — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 06:51:56 +0000

One thing that you need to understand is how important PLAY is for the thinking, language, emotional, problem solving and creative skills development of children with autism. So many people underestimate the importance of PLAY.

Ok. So how does play develop and what should your child be able to do in play?

Stage 1

From birth to 18 months of life, much of your child’s play will revolve around Sensory Play.

This means feeling different textures, learning about how their body feels when it is moved in different ways, listening to interesting noises like birds tweeting, the clock ticking and how different people’s voices sound different and can make interesting noises etc, etc. Their sensory play will continue to develop and become more complex during the first 18 months.

Stage 2

As your child gradually learns to ‘make sense’ of the world around them they then learn to engage in Exploratory and Manipulative Play.

This means that they begin to work out the properties of objects (round, soft, hard, small, large) through their senses and work out how they can play around with them to do different things.

For example; if we take a ball there are many things that we can get to know about a ball… it is round, it can be big or little, heavy or light, you can throw it, kick it, catch it, bounce it, roll it… if I drop it from my high chair it bounces really high, if I put it in water it might float or sink… if I put it down the ramp it will go very fast etc, etc.

This kind of exploration and thinking is very important for a child to develop so that they can go on to learn how to use objects in many different and more complex ways.

Children develop some of this sensory and exploratory play on their own, but they also learn it through interacting and watching their parents, siblings and other children. Once children have built a warm and trusting relationship with certain people they become curious to learn more from them and gain a great deal from watching and copying them.

Stage 3 – Imaginary Play

Sensory play and Exploratory play will continue to become more and more complex. However, once your child has started to really explore objects for their physical attributes they will then be curious to learn about the different functions of objects.

…OK WAIT! Let’s just stop there for a moment.

Many of you might be thinking… “Hold up, my child is stuck at Stage 1 or 2!!”

Your child may be engaging in Sensory play for a good part of their day (playing in the dirt, mouthing objects, running back and forth, wanting to play crashing games, making noises for self stimulatory purposes, playing with objects to create fascinating visual effects, etc) OR they may be using Exploratory play with toys/objects in a very repetitive way rather than exploring all the different properties of the objects.

Challenges in the first two stages of play development are largely the result of poor sensory motor development and/or immature social skills. Since I have already talked about these topics in previous blog posts, I will simply say that if you would like further advice on how to improve these areas of development please check out the following resources…

Sense part 1 and 2 of my Autism Essentials DVD program

and the audio 7 steps to unlocking your child’s social skills.

OK. Back to our discussion of play development and Stage 3 – Imaginary Play…

What does Imaginary play look like?

Let’s take a toy car for example. A child will learn that you can push it just like the cars you see on the road, you can also put people in it and carry them to different places (like the park, or the shops, or to grandmas house etc), you can also put seat belts on the passengers, beep the horn, put things in the boot to take to the beach etc. As a child gains a greater and greater comprehension about what happens in their day and their life experiences continue to expand it endless what they will do with their play. This type of play is called imaginary or symbolic play and typically starts developing at around 12-18 months and becomes more and more complex as the child gets older (ie to six/seven years of age), until they reach a point where they can even act out things that have never happened in their life (eg going to the moon, pretending to be a fairy, etc).

There is SOOOO much that can be taught through Imaginary play and it is a wonderful way of developing your child’s thinking, language, emotional, problem solving and creative skills. However many families are not sure of how to effectively develop these imaginary play skills in their child. If you are interested in how to do this please look out for my next post because I am going to explain this in more detail for you.

See Part 2 here

Until then best wishes.
Monique

P.S: If you have any thoughts or stories to share about this week’s article please leave your comments in the box provided below.

Is there a ‘Magic Formula’ for Autism?

Monique Simpson — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 01:50:17 +0000

Since you are reading this I’m guessing that the subject line may have grabbed your attention which is great because….

What I have to tell you today is very important. In fact it may change the way you think about just about every aspect of your child’s treatment.

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I often get asked to give families strategies to help deal with specific behaviours such as ‘toilet training’ or ‘picky eating’ or ‘poor sleeping patterns’.

It would certainly make my job MUCH easier if I could tell each one of you that ONE particular strategy would be the ‘Magic Formula‘ for solving each of these issues.

But the truth is…

because every child with autism (like any child) is so incredibly different and so unique, there simply isn’t a ‘magic formula’ or one strategy in particular to remedy these individual behaviours.

But there is a solution… so please read on.

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After 11 years specialising in autism and treating hundreds of children, I absolutely believe that

…the children who make the greatest gains (and the fastest gains) are the ones whose parents and carers fully understand the unique differences of their child and know how to work with these individual characteristics, for maximum effect to help their child reach their full potential.

I have witnessed this time and time again.

So in order to interact with your child effectively and determine the best methods for managing their individual behaviours (eg: not weeing on the toilet, not socialising with peers, not eating a range of foods etc) you really need to understand your child’s individual sensory, emotional, thought processing patterns and learning style. Without this understanding, you will simply be guessing as to the best (and most suitable) methods of addressing particular behaviours with your child.

So what do you do…?

How do we help them with these issues…??

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My “Magic Formula”

The good news is that I have developed a magic formula of sorts… although with less magic and much more formula.

And although some of my clients might believe that I have a bunch of magic tricks up my sleeve,
the reality is that this formula involves no magic but rather…

…a well structured, methodical and individualised process, that systematically uncovers the underlying cause of ‘problem’ behaviours, enabling us to identify the most appropriate strategies and methods for treating them.

This process can be used with any child to target virtually any kind of behavioural issue.

I have never publicised this formula or the essence of my treatment model until now…

It is something I have only ever shared with my clients and those of you who already have my Autism Essentials Training Program.

But I know that unless I do share it with you, you will never fully understand why it is so important and how it forms the foundations for everything else that I do in the treatment of children with autism.

So let me introduce you to my Magic Formula… which I call the ‘Connect Therapy Pyramid’.

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The Connect Therapy Pyramid

I developed this formula and treatment model gradually over many years of working with children with autism and now use it everyday in the work that I do with the families I treat.

Whenever we have a problem behaviour that we are trying to target with a particular child we pull out the Connect Therapy Pyramid and work out systematically what is going on for the child.

I know it looks incredibly simple. But believe me, when used correctly it can be very powerful.

Each level of the pyramid is interconnected, starting from SENSE, then working all the way up through FEEL, THINK and LEARN, and finally arriving at BEHAVE at the very top of the pyramid.

Behaviour is only the tip of the iceberg

Imagine the pyramid is an iceberg. Your child’s behaviours are just the tip of the iceberg. They are what everybody sees on the surface.

But what we can’t see is the other 90% of the iceberg submerged beneath the water. What most people don’t realise is that they key to treating your child’s behaviours lies in being aware of and understanding the foundation skills and developmental deficits that make up the other 90% of the iceberg.

Example Case Study

Let me explain this by working through an example of how we would use the pyramid in practice.

Please note that even though the example I’ve chosen below looks at feeding issues, the formula can be used with virtually any challenging issue or behaviour that your child is experiencing.

Lets pretend that Jack is a very picky eater and will only eat home made chips, bread and banana. So the ‘behaviour’ we are trying to improve is getting Jack to eat a wider variety of foods.

But in order to treat the behaviour, we first need to understand why it is occurring.

It’s no good starting at the top of the pyramid, pouring all your efforts into treating the actual behaviour. We can’t waste time merely treating the symptoms of the problem (the tip of the iceberg) without actually understanding the cause of why it is happening.

For this reason, you must always start at the bottom of the pyramid with Sense, and work your way up.

As you become more competent at understanding your child at each of the different levels, the order in which you work can become more flexible. However you must ALWAYS analyse each of the lower levels first, before moving up to Behave.

Step 1 therefore is to take into consideration whether there are any sensory motor challenges. It could be possible that Jack has a sensory processing issue. This could be based on either touch, visual (only feels safe eating certain coloured foods?), auditory (may not like the sound of crunchy foods?) or smell related issues. It may also be possible that Jack has an oral propriocpetive challenge where he does not have a good sense of where his tongue, lips and jaw are positioned and how they move which could mean that certain types of food are more challenging to eat than others.

Step 2 is to consider what might be going on emotionally for Jack, what he is ‘feeling’ when he tries to eat new foods. It may be causing him an enormous amount of anxiety which means that meal time is extremely stressful for him. As we learned last week, if Jack is operating in a stressful state then he is unable to use the ‘thinking’ part of his brain to learn how to eat new foods. So until this is managed effectively there will be little change in his progress.

Step 3 is to understand and consider whether Jack’s thought processing patterns are getting in the way of him trialing new foods. He may be very rigid and lack flexibility in the way he thinks. In this instance it is so important to build a warm and trusting relationship into mealtimes so that Jack feels very reassured and supported to take a few risks. But when doing this, it is also vital that the family know how to create the ‘just right’ challenge for Jack. If the challenge is too easy, he probably won’t be interested. If it is too difficult he might breakdown.

Step 4 is to establish Jack’s learning style so that this can be taken into consideration when helping Jack work through this problem area. This is a very big area of analysis and involves understanding the auditory, visual and kinesthetic learning possibilities for Jack.

Finally, when we have dealt with each of the levels below, we can look at Jack’s behaviour and confidently choose the best strategies to help Jack with eating a wider variety of foods because we have a thorough understanding of the underlying issues causing this behaviour in the first place.

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So there you have it.
My ‘Autism Formula’.

I’ll be talking about it more in the weeks to come but right now this post is getting quite long, so I need to wrap it up…

I have only BRIEFLY touched on some of the possibilities for using this formula in the case study above to give you an idea of how this technique can be used to fully support your child’s development and learning. Hopefully you will have also gained a sense of how individualised and powerful this process can be for working with the unique differences of each individual child.

This treatment model is also very respectful (and fun!) for the child because it celebrates the fact that all children are unique and deserve individualised treatment and uses their natural motivations and strengths to help them learn more quickly.

If you’re interested in further training on using these methods to better understand and help your child then I’d recommend that you take a closer look at my Autism Essentials Training Series. I specifically developed this program based on the fundamental principals of the Connect Therapy Pyramid. It covers each level of the pyramid in detail, beginning with SENSE then moving up through FEEL, THINK, LEARN and finally BEHAVE, teaching you how to understand and help your child at each stage.

To see how empowered and confident families become when they gain this incredible understanding of their child makes my work so rewarding.

At the end of the day it does not matter whether I have the skills to help the child. I consider it my job to hand over these tools to the parents and carers so they feel that they know how to tackle the various issues that arise. Only then do I feel that I have done a good job with the child and family!

Until next time. Happy connecting!

Best wishes
Monique

PS: Did this make sense to you? I hope that this has really enlightened many of you on the underlying principals and techniques behind my work. I’d love to hear your feedback or comments on my ‘Autism Formula’, so please leave me you thoughts below.

Dealing with your child’s challenging emotions

Monique Simpson — Thu, 28 May 2009 13:37:41 +0000

I was reading back over the questions that you posted me and there was a common theme emerging…

“What is the best way to deal with my child when they are feeling upset, frustrated, annoyed, disappointed?”

I am pleased that this topic was raised because it is an area of treatment that I get quite passionate about and I would like to share my thoughts with you…

So often we are happy to engage with children (not just special needs kids!) when they are happy and joyous, but we tend to disconnect with them when they are experiencing more challenging emotions.

But why do we do this?

Feelings of frustration, sadness annoyance etc are all basic (and completely normal) human emotions that we all encounter on a regular basis. But when this happens to our own child we are naturally driven to find a way of making them feel ‘happy’ again by saying things like “Stop crying”, “You’re okay”, “Where’s your happy face?”, “It’s ok, how about we have something to eat”.

But all this actually does is disconnects us from what they are really experiencing and feeling, and we miss an important opportunity to ‘connect’ with our child and to help them learn and grow from the experience. Your ultimate goal in any situation like this should be to help your child learn something new so they can be better prepared to understand or cope with the situation in the future.

So please, please, please do not squash these emotions in your child.
They are ‘real’ and ‘normal feelings as well as fabulous learning opportunities!

It is very important that your child learns to emotionally connect with you when they are experiencing more challenging emotions because:

There is so much that you can teach your child about life by working through these challenging times together (emotional development).
You want to always encourage your child to ‘connect’ and ‘communicate’ with you when they are experiencing these emotions so that they don’t feel alone with these emotions and so they learn more effective and appropriate ways of expressing themselves when they are upset or angry.

Here are the steps I would recommend that you follow the next time your child is experiencing these more challenging emotions…

1. Show your child that you understand how they are feeling and that you are ok with this.

For example if your child is crying and saying “I want biscuit” even though you have said no, you will match the tone and emotion in their voice and say “I know you want biscuit, I know you want biscuit, but Mummy said no more”. It’s important not to have a judgmental tone of voice as you are saying this. Simply show your child that you hear what they are saying and that you know that the situation is making them feel sad.

If your child is open to a cuddle then while you are talking to them I would give them a slightly stronger cuddle (what we call “deep pressure”) as this should be reassuring and soothing for them. If your child is non-verbal you can still show them that you understand by hugging them and matching their vocialisations and body movements.

2. Help calm your child down.

When something upseting happens, your child’s first response will be to go into “survival mode”, shutting down all rational thinking and problem solving skills. So the calmer your child is the easier it will be for them to think clearly and to learn from the situation. It will also help you move them on from the challenging emotion to a more organised or ‘normal’ state.

3. Wait for the right moment to help your child learn.

Once your child has calmed down this is the right time to provide some further learning in the situation. There is absolutely no point trying to do any talking or explanation whilst your child is in survival mode. At this time you could:

- Talk about the thoughts, feelings and ideas behind what happened (depending upon your child’s comprehension).

- Help move your child onto another activity, because children with autism can tend to ‘perseverate’ (get stuck on) the same recurring thought.

4. Pitch your child’s learning at the right level

This is really important! To effectively help your child learn from the situation you need to be able to ‘pitch’ your child’s learning at the right level for them so that they learn new skills and grow from the experience.

It’s a bit like trying to teach high school mathematics to a group of 5 year olds. No matter how hard you try or how many times you try to teach it to them they simply aren’t going to understand it or learn anything new.

So how do you know what the right level of learning is for your child??

You need to have a really good understanding of your child’s sensory, emotional, thinking and learning profile. Just as we know that typically developing 5 year olds will not be able to understand high school mathematics, you need to know where your child is at with each of the key developmental areas in order to know what they will be capable of learning in any given moment.

If you are interested in further training on how to do this and acquiring the skills to turn every interaction with your child into an amazing learning opportunity then please take a look at the various training modules in my Autism Essentials Training Program.

Also, please share your experiences with us by leaving a comment below.
What are some of your child’s more challenging emotions?
How have you been dealing with them up till now and has this been working well?

Until next week. Happy connecting!

Best wishes
Monique

PS: Just in case you don’t already know, each of the training modules in the Autism Essentials Program are now available separately. So if you feel you only need help with one particular area of developmental then this may be a good option for you. Or you can choose to start gradually with one or two volumes and order more as your skills develop over time. It’s completely up to you.

PPS: Oh yeah, and the program also comes with my 90-day risk free guarantee. Open it up, try it out, go through all of the training modules and if for any reason you are not happy, simply return it to us and we’ll refund your purchase price. So you’ve got plenty of time to decide if it’s right for you, without any of the financial pressures that come with a new purchase.